Saturday, March 27, 2010

The Call Story

It's a long one, but a lot has happened.

I still can't believe I'm writing these words, "The Call", in our blog. We've waited over a year to be able to write that and now that it's here, I feel as if I'm watching it all unfold from afar. It's been a very surreal week (yes, week - which I will also explain) that has left me delusional. I think my left brain and right brain are on complete outs with each other, leaving me in a simple "dumb and happy" state. There's no other way to describe it.

Okay, so the details we've held back (very reluctantly, I must say). We decided last February when we started our journey that we would have a specialist review all medical/developmental records when we receive our referral. We stuck to it through all these months, lining up necessary paperwork in advance, conversations with our doctor, etc - and when we got The Call, the whole thing almost went out the window. He is just perfect! How would I EVER get through this week while waiting (MORE waiting?) on the doctor's opinion (it's a 4 day turnaround). That's also when I realized how much I've counted on all of YOU!!! I told Kai that I feel I'm doing something behind your backs by not sharing this news...the news that each of us wait for on each others' blogs. I also wondered if other families have second opinions and choose not to share their experience, as I don't think I've ever read about one. Maybe it's all done quietly behind the scenes and I just have a big mouth or share too much! ha!

So my dear blog friends & family, this is also why I was a little quiet this week. I couldn't tell a proper story because my mind has been a mess since Monday (when it all went down). Also, if anyone else has their referrals reviewed by a third party, I'm warning you that once you get that info back from the doctor, it's as if you just received the referral all over again! You're certain to lose your mind.

This was our call on Monday...
(the scene: My mom & step-father were in town for our shower and heading home on Monday, so I took Monday off. They left around noon. We got The Call at 4pm'ish.)

4pm'ish: I'm yapping on the phone with my sister in GA, listening to her jaw-break story from her twins baseball game when a call waiting beep comes through.

Me: "It's okay, I'll check it later. So it's fractured?"
(beep comes through again)
Me: Hold on Mandie. I look at my phone and see "817"
Me SCREAMING to sister: "It's 817!!!! Bye." (click)
In the short moment of hanging up on my sister and clicking over to 817, I was crying, laughing and barely breathing.
Me: "Kristen? Hi. OMG." (between sobs)
Kristin: "Tamara? Are you okay?"
Me: "No. Why are you calling?"
Kristin: "This is your call."
Me: Stand up quickly from chair, room spins wildly, I fall back in my chair & can't speak.
Kristin: "Tamara, take a deep breath and sit down."
Me: "Okay."
Kristin: "Where are you and where is Kai?"
Me: "I'm at home and he'll come home now."
Kristen: "Okay, when Kai gets home, call me back on my direct number and we'll go through your referral."
Me: "I don't have your number." (I've spoken to this woman for eight months! Of course, I have her number.)
Kristin: "Do you have a pen?" (gives me her number)
hang up

Me calling Kai...
(We had a rule for the past few weeks that we don't call each other during the day; only im'ing & texts. This way when we call each other, the other must stop whatever they're doing - expecting that it's The Call.)

Me: (now sobbing & laughing again) "Kristen called."
Kai: "What? I can't understand you. Are you okay?"
Me: "Kristen called."
Kai: "Oh SHIT! I'm leaving now. Love you." (click)

40 minutes later....

Kai walks in the door saying, "The world already looks different." Isn't he the BEST?

We call Kristin back and got voicemail. Oh no! She calls back very quickly.

Kristin: "Are you in front of your computer? I have your referral for a beautiful 4 month old boy and will be sending you two emails. The first will be his pictures with an overview of his background. The second email will contain all medical records."
(she said a lot more than this, but I don't remember)
Kristin: "Okay, I've sent them so let me know when they appear in your inbox and I'll go through each part with you."
*ding* - incoming email sound; we grab each others hands & arms with our faces about two inches from the monitor.
Kai: "OMG he's gorgeous! He looks just like me!"
Me: "I start laughing and then crying all over again." (I don't think I've cried so much in my life!)

Our feet haven't touched the ground since. We're in love with this little guy and within a matter of days, he's already changed our lives.


  1. WOW. Thank you so much for sharing all the details!!! I'm reading this over my first cup of coffee with tears streaming down my face...I am so, so, so happy and excited for you! (I sorta feel like I know you since I've been following your blog so long)

    Again, thanks for sharing...I think it gives all of us WAITING Mommy's HOPE! Have a great weekend and CONGRATS!

    Hoping and believig Kristen Calls us soon!

    (The Mathews Family)

  2. BALLING OVER HERE! Seriously, I am crying almost as much as when we got our own referral! He really is beautiful and I love him already too!!!

    Enjoy this weekend :-) We got our call on a Monday too and nothing really sank in until that first weekend.


    Love you guys!!!


  3. Oh, man, I meant BAWLING! I need an editor...

  4. Crying for you and your baby boy here in WA too! :) So exciting! Can't wait for our call!

  5. This is so amazing and we are so incredibly excited for you guys! Can't wait to see his precious little face!

  6. What an amazing "the call" story! We've considered sending our file to a specialist too, so it's good to hear from someone who has!

  7. so so happy for you! What a fun story!

  8. yea! i'm so happy for y'all!

  9. Are you shocked to know that I am trying to write this comment with blurred eyes because they are filled with tears??!!! I LOVE what Kai said when he got home and laughing that Kristen had to tell you take a deep breath and sit down!!! That will totally be me. :) Love you!!!

  10. Congratulations!! So excited for you and looking forward to following the rest of your journey to him!

  11. Crying. Laughing. Loving this soooo much! This is so perfect. Happiness. XOXOXO!!!

  12. So fun seeing you over on the Referral page!!!

  13. What a wonderful story.... the best is yet to come!! Congrats!

  14. Love that the "world already looks different"! Congrats to you guys! (If the call came Monday...I guess the fertility statue really worked! Heehee.)

  15. Carol Hartford momMarch 29, 2010 at 9:42 PM

    Tamara and Kai,
    I just want you two and the rest of the blog readers to understand what great parents you will be. I have seen both of you bestow such love and care on your nephews and now you will do this with Niko. The love you have for Niko and your anxious anticipation of his arrival is so strong, we could feel it when we visited. We are all so lucky to have him in our lives.

  16. Beautiful! Isn't it amazing how one moment can change everything! Your son is so blessed to have you both as his parents!

  17. so happy for you! what a great day!

  18. Just found your blog, wanted to say my hubby and I received our referral for a 4 month old boy on March 25th! So exciting we both have babies in Ethiopia waiting for us.

    Looking at your time line it looks we started and got things rolling about the same time as well. Congrats on your referral!

  19. Congratulations! What a great "the call" story. I love what Kai said..."the world already looks different." That's great.

  20. Am I missing something or did your referral really take less than 12 months for an infant boy? We are close to submitting our dossier and the wait looks more like 18 months for infants. Any advice? :)

    Oh and congrats - i was totally tearing up on this post and had to read it to the hubby.