Numero Uno

Giddy is an understatement.

The Gittens' home has turned to absolute mush, with neither of us able to complete an intelligent sentence or thought. Considering our current state of la-la'ness, we are doomed once 'the call' comes. I'm hoping no major decisions need to be made from now until Niko comes home, because we have such tunnel vision right now it's pathetic. If it doesn't relate directly to him, it's not on our radar and doesn't really matter. I think 'mama bear' and 'papa bear' instincts are kicking in...uh oh.

I was on my laptop last night when I got home and a message popped up from Emily that read, "Coco & Kota got their referral! You're number 1!!!" The natural reaction to that is, "AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH" which brings Kai running into the living room asking "Are we #1?" How did he know that? We haven't discussed moving up the list at all. When you consider the recent lull in referrals and court dates, combined with last week's changes, we anticipated a much longer wait. It's true that nothing is predictable in international adoption.

We're sending a big congratulations to Coco & Kota on their referral!!! Check out the link above to read their referral story. Reading families' posts about how they received "the call" are my favorite. I still wonder how you can digest all the details your caseworker is telling you over the phone while simultaneously receiving images of your child for the first time.

So what else happens when you reach the #1 spot? You fall asleep a bit too excited and wake up the same, at 5am on a Saturday. (we'll see how excited I am later this evening at our dinner when I'm trying to prop open my eyelids) Anyway, I jumped online to start checking flight options and had an epiphony. When it dawned on me that we're traveling alone on the first trip, I realized our options have grown significantly.

We can take advantage of the many, many budget airlines that operate outside of the U.S. and work our itinerary around those routes, making our way to Addis. It's not for everyone but if you're willing to sacrifice a little convenience and comfort, it's a great way to see a new city/country and potentially save hundreds of dollars. (ex: in the past I got a flight from London to Krakow for $27USD and another time Madrid to Morocco for $32USD) We certainly won't be doing this on our final trip when we bring our son home, but at a quick glance I've already seen significant savings that make it worth it for our first trip for court.

I'll post more on that later for anyone who may be interested.

Okay, I'm off to start my day in LaLa land....yay!

Shame & Joy

yesterday marked eight months waiting...yay! yay! yay!

From the words of another blogger, F You CWA.
...and all you other lowlife agencies "allegedly" preying on families and children in the form of corrupt adoption. Your greedy actions have the potential for serious repercussions for thousands of innocent children.

Corruption is in every industry and comes in many forms. And if you're good at it, you'll always treat a few right who will sing your praises. It's quite unfortunate, to say the least, when you hear corruption allegations being made that involve children, and in a third world country to boot. Turn any corner and there is true need. To take advantage of this is simply shameful. (previous reference)

For family & friends not in the know, it is strongly suggested that because of the ongoing allegations mentioned above, new policies were required. Two were implemented this week.

Early in the week, the US State Department announced that visa processing for children adopted from Ethiopia will take on new requirements, which may cause a slight delay in the process. (Okay, not psyched about the delay but this was inevitable and we applaud the thorough steps being taken.)

The second notice came yesterday. Effective immediately, federal courts in Ethiopia require families to travel twice; once for court date to meet your child prior to adoption, allowing the judge to make any necessary inquiries and the second trip to pick up your child once you have passed court and their visa has been processed.

I don't care how many hoops we have to jump through to bring our baby home. We welcome a more transparent environment; one that leaves little wiggle room for corruption. My silly question is, Where are the hoops for these corrupt agencies? Isn't it safer for all, if their plug is pulled before they have the chance to pull ours?

The latest CBS interview is below.



This isn't all doom & gloom. The JOY...we are going to meet our son SO much sooner than we planned! Yes, there will be floods of tears boarding that plane home as he stays behind, but we will not focus on that part yet. We've scoured the web for families' blogs who reference traveling twice during their adoption. You see, each country has their own set of laws and each agency, their own rules. And all must abide by Ethiopia's set of laws. Suffice it to say, there is a plethora of variations to this calculation.

So, we found amazing stories from families in other countries, with other agencies and from those who simply opted on their own to travel twice. All were wonderful stories that have me so looking forward to spending time in our son's country, exploring on our own and most importantly meeting our son in the very near future. The one thing all families noted was the structural difference in the two trips with the pre-court trip being the more flexible, exploratory with much opportunity to engage in the local community. The latter is more structured with much time being in the guesthouse as you bond with (and spoil and dote on) your child/ren.

My stomach swirls with excitement as I realize, we don't need to send a care package with another family immediately because WE WILL BE DELIVERING IT OURSELVES! Awesome! We'll probably still try to send something though :)

In closing, it's very important to note the values, humanitarian efforts and core that drive the ethical agencies currently in-country. Their advancements have improved the lives of so many in need and continue to do so. It brings such calm and peace of mind knowing we are with one of the most reputable agencies. We applaud them for being everything they said they were from day one and for this week in particular - reaching out at all the right times.

The Power Ballad and You

This is definitely stretching it a bit, but I'm sick of the big loom lingering over all of us with the recent lull. There's nothing we can do about it so let's have a little fun.

What 80s power ballad fits your current state of mind? They're all about angst, waiting and fighting the odds - if it's true that misery loves company, the lyrics to these ballads may actually cheer us up! If you feel like joining in, post a few lyrics to your ballad.

No, this doesn't mean I'm content with the lull. I'm just ready for a non-thinking distraction that will hopefully generate some good replies that we can all laugh at with each other. Okay ladies, bring on your best 80s big-hair ballad...

P.S. If you're playing and didn't grow up in the 80s, please note that 'girl' in any ballad is equivalent to what we are all missing and looming over.

P.P.S. Whoever has the best ballad at the end (determined by other readers) will get a little tee for your kiddie with your band's logo on it. (I make them and have a closet full that need to be cleared out before our kiddie arrives)

Ours would be GnR's Patience...

(1..2...1,2,3,4)
Shed a tear 'cause I'm missing you
I'm still alright to smile
Girl, I think about you every day now
Was a time when I wasn't sure
But you set my mind at ease
There is no doubt you're in my heart now
Said woman take it slow
It'll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience
Said sugar make it slow
And we'll come together fine
All we need is just a little patience (inhale)
Patience...Ooh, oh, yeah

Dad

One of Kai's Valentine's Day gifts arrived early.

Now, anyone who knows me knows that I normally distribute my gifts early. I get too excited in the hub-bub and build up to whatever the big day is that we're all awaiting. I've always been like that and most likely will not change at this point.

Niko's first Christmas is going to be interesting. It may be the first time a child tells a parent, "It's 4am, please go back to bed mommy".

So, I found this amazing collection of Amharic tees, coffee mugs, aprons, etc. When I saw the "DAD" tee, I sqealed and whipped out my credit card. Sold. (I know Kai doesn't look very excited in the picture, but he really is).

We girls blog, shop, read and talk about being a mom from day one. We've referred to each other with the ultimate title of "mom" or "mommy" at some point already. Our mothers, sisters and friends have had heart to hearts about what motherhold holds. I wouldn't imagine the average dad-in-waiting encounters the amount of warm & fuzzy "oh boy, we can call you daddy soon" moments as us.

I kind of saw this when Kai opened his present and asked "What does this say?" When I simply said "Dad", I saw the coolest look on Kai's face.

A Vintage Post

Last year at this time, a picture of me under a sea 'o paperwork appeared on our blog.

There have been such little spurts of action, that when we now hit a realistic lull during our wait it just feels like things are dragging. The slow period the call it.


Well, when I look back at some of our first posts I realize how quickly (did I say quickly?) we've reached our current position and the strides made along the way. We've been at this for over a year and I honestly couldn't see it happening any faster for our family.

I'm giving a little shout-out here to our agency, Gladney, for being so __________ (insert all synonyms of absolutely incredible here). Words don't describe how helpful, professional, genuine, proactive and on & on they have been to this point.

We're nowhere near done with our process, having the biggest waits yet to come. However, reaching the unofficial #3 spot is a good time for reflection on the current state of the union. All is good.

And I didn't even mention the amazing ladies I've through this process. Many who will now be lifelong friends. The important stuff in life doesn't happen overnight.

Now, come on court dates & referrals!!!

Happy Friday to all :)

Passing the Time

I just received a fabulous award from an oh-so-fabulous woman.

Upon accepting, it entails answering the below questions with one word answers and passing along. I never realized, but I am a one-word-only challenged lady.

1. Where is your cell phone? Ottoman

2. Your hair? Red

3. Your mother? Strong

4. Your father? Charming

5. Your favorite food? Sushi

6. Your dream last night? Travel

7. Your favorite drink? Malbec

8. Your dream / goal? Motherhood

9. What room are you in? Living

10. Your hobby? Sewing

11. Your fear? Tornado

12. Where do you want to be in six years? Happy

13. Where were you last night? Working

14. Something that you aren't? Pessimist

15. Muffins? Carrot

16. Wish list item? Referral!

17. Where did you grow up? Pennsylvania

18. Last thing you did? Design

19. What are you wearing? Slippers

20. Your TV? BBC

21. Your pets? None

22. Friends? Love!

23. Your life? Rocks

24. Your mood? Goofy

25. Missing someone? Niko

26. Vehicle? Taaaaaxi!

27. Something your not wearing? Make-up

28. Your favorite store? Zappos

29. Your favorite color? Purple

30. What was the last time you laughed? Lunch

31. Last time you cried? Hmmmmm…

32. Your best friend? Kai

33. One place that I could go over and over? Spain

34. One person who emails you regularly? Sis

35. Favorite place to eat? Los Gatos

I'm passing this along to the four newest families making the leap over to the Wait List tab on the FBI list.

Welcome Gladney Girls!

Heather

Layla

Anna

Laura

Ups & Eccchs

I'm making a conscious effort right now to be a more timely-blogger. Through the rest of our journey, I will make every attempt to not let it slip in excess of a week, like now. It takes a lot of mind-energy to get back in the flow. I feel like I need to list a diary of events in order to catch up for the past week and that's no fun for anyone, especially the reader!

So, to recap I'll simply highlight the ups & not-so-ups; some adoption-related and some not.

Ech: The waitlist crew have all set their sights on a 7.2 month average wait time. That was the trend with our agency at the time of our last conference call prior to the holidays. Well, the new conference call happened this week and we're all back up to an 8 month average wait. Boo.

Up: Our artist, Phoenix, won a Grammy!!!! Yay. Yay. Yay. If you're not familiar with them, I'm sure you've heard them in one of the gazillion Cadillac commercials currently running.

Up: Sticking with the musical theme, Cyndi Lauper was in the office today. I LOOOOVE Ms. Lauper. Who doesn't? Seeing someone like her just makes me smile and makes life seem fun and light. Nice aura to have!

Ech: Not to harp on this conference call business, but...something was mentioned that I wasn't aware of nor have I read about this before (and I have done a TON of research).

Children are available for adoption because they are either a) relinquished - parent(s)/living family member(s) willingly give their child(ren) to the orphanage or b) they are abandoned (self-explanatory). That we knew.

What we didn't know is that abandoned children are named by the police officer who writes up their case when taken into the station. After hearing this a few days ago, it still isn't sitting well with us and has taken us aback. Our intention was to take our son's Ethiopian name as his middle name. The whole purpose was because of its meaning and to keep part of our child's past with him forever. Knowing what we know now, I'm not sure we want that. I'm not sure he would. I don't know. We don't know. My middle name is after my maternal grandmother and it's comforting to know that. I wouldn't want that name if I knew a police officer, aka stranger, selected it. Has anyone else faced this and hesitated? not hesitated at all? Should our son be referred to us as an abandoned case, we may be considering a different Ethiopian name.

I would love to hear others' thoughts/experience on this topic. I already want to protect this little guy whom I've never met and do what's right on his behalf. Hmmmm...

And to end on an Up...our nephew thoroughly enjoying his day at Chelsea Piers. The genuine happiness that bouncing brings to a four year old's world! I'm seriously jealous.

The Stroller

The best stroller for NYC?
It has taken us two months of hardcore research to answer this question with an educated guess. The answer for our family is the City Mini.

This predicament doesn't apply to the rest of the country, nor should it be expected to make sense to anyone outside of NYC that your stroller purchase is one of the toughest decisions on your list. As ridiculous as it sounds, it is downright serious.

You see, we don't have a car nor do we want one. That means no throwing the stroller in the trunk. It's with us at all times - up the subway stairs, standing on the train when there are no available seats, collapsing stroller at a moment's notice to hop on the bus & throw it on the floor before the driver pounds on the gas as you maneuver to find a seat with baby flung under your arm - just a few of the daily situations. p.s. - he's NOT going to wait for you to find the 'release' button and tuck it all in neatly. It's pack & go or risk flying down the aisle with arms & gear a flappin'. I've seen it happen!

Now for the weekend...a trip to the museum with lunch and stop by the boutique for some shopping on the way home. All of this is done with no car, no carseat for sleeping, no trunk for storing stuff. And did I mention it's February and there is 2" of snow on the ground? Yes, all of this must be transported, stored, kept warm and travel safely in a stroller. There is no heat, no winter tread, no wipers, no trunk.

The majority of strollers are pulled from the trunk, used in the shop/mall and then put back in the trunk. Our 'trunk' is my back & Kai's back while out and about.

For the past two months, we've researched what seems like every stroller on the market in order to create a short list. Well, our short list still ended up having 20 models on it. So off we went today to test drive each one of them with our excel spreadsheet in hand; noting various pros & cons based on our personal needs and preferences. It's not showing up that well, but if anyone wants it for their own research, I can forward it.

I would like to send a huge thanks to Kai's family! They know NY well and understand our concern for finding the perfect stroller. Because of their generosity, all models were a potential option for us, from the most economical to those that may appear to be pure status symbols and may have otherwise been overlooked. I can honestly say strollers in all categories were considered and the City Mini met each need except two...

1. adjustable handles: okay b/c the fixed height works if you're tall like us
2. air tires: the City Elite (one model up) has air tires but was too heavy for us

The City Mini is one of the lower priced models in the "lightweight-plus" category. The Bugaboo was a strong contender for its quality and smooth steering until after multiple failed attempts at locking the front tires in place in order to move onto the "quick fold" I had red, worn fingers, no more patience and was wondering "where is my baby while I'm doing this with both hands"? For $600-700 they need to fix the plastic lock-grips!!! Are you kidding me??? It was a deal breaker.

I'm not bashing on the Bugaboo. It did make it to the #2 spot. The final push for the City Mini was seeing six of them in use by NYC moms today. One CM-mother even jumped in when she heard us speaking to our rep. When she overheard our conversation with our rep with our criteria, she tapped me on the shoulder and began raving about her City Mini. Our rep then told us it's the number one seller in his store for NYC moms because of its weight, fold and functions. SOLD.

My apologies for the lengthy stroller post, but I must say, I was eager to read personal details when doing our research. Our info may not apply to 90% of those reading this, but for the 10% it makes sense to...I would love to hear your stroller choices and feedback.

6 Months on Wait List...

Six is a unitary perfect number, a harmonic divisor number and a highly composite number. Six is the only number that is both the sum and the product of three consecutive positive numbers. Six is also the number of strings on a standard guitar.

Did you think I completely lost it? Nope, just a quick visit to Wiki while searching for a "6" image that has a connection. LOVE Eve6. They were with RCA when I was there - awesome guys!

Six months on the waitlist tomorrow. We're off to our nephew's baptism bright and early tomorrow morning and will not be able to post, so I wanted to get a jump on it tonight.

I want to first send a big fat warm & fuzzy congratulations to Mr. Kai. Last night was four years to the day that he had his final cigarette. Not an easy task, yet he did it and stuck to it. LOVE YOU :) That day also happens to be my mother's birthday. Yes, she shares it with Elvis. Happy Bday mama :)

All in all, the past six months (12 in all when you count the first six doing paperwork) have been a great ride thus far. A few spurts of anxiety, which is my current state as we speak, but that will soon pass to bring back the state of mind of "simply waiting". That's the stage...simply waiting. It doesn't matter what you do, you're waiting. But it's not a wait compared to that of being in a really long line at a shop or waiting for your delayed flight in a storm or waiting for your neighbor to stop dj'ing while you're finishing a project or, or, or, or...you get it. None of that matters anymore. Who cares? This is the monster of all waits and it is upon us with fury.

It's the wait that includes months & months of climbing to reach a peak with such excitement to simply be rewarded by being put at the bottom of the next peak and start again. It's quite ridiculous really. Isn't the definition of insanity when one does the same thing over and over again and expects different results?

However, it's a process I fully embrace because at the end of this is our family. The one little member who will make it complete is there . Nothing is more exciting than that!

We're in such a funny place because according to the trend, a call is in our near future. So is Niko in Gladney's care now? Is he being evaluated by doctors for his medical paperwork and by caseworkers for his birth history portion of the paperwork? Have other families who are in country picking up their children already been fortunate enough to see him, maybe even snagged a photo? See...this is where I get antsy because we're waiting on so much more than a phone call when you open your eyes and try to imagine what's happening PRIOR to your phone call. What happens prior to our call, is happening NOW.

The part that comforts me is knowing that as long as he is in Gladney's care, he is in good hands. And if he's not in their care yet, he will be fully taken care of as soon as he is, which is hopefully NOT a long wait. I can wait. Kai can wait. I don't want Niko to wait.

Lastly, I want to wish one of our very special waitlist buddies safe and exciting travels tomorrow. They are off to Addis to pick up their little girl!!!! Can you imagine? I don't know how they're sleeping tonight. She's one of the first few in our little wait-group to reach this stage. Just think, when we all go to work on Monday, this woman will be meeting her beautiful Beatrix for the first time. Yes, worth the wait.

Heidi Got "The Call"

pa⋅tience - /pey-shuhns/:

an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay

This is huge. Imagine Breaking News interupting your fave show and then another even bigger Breaking News interupts the first one. Yup.

These folks have been on The Waitlist for 1 Year, 3 Weeks and 4 Days. That doesn't include anything prior to Waitlist such as fingerprinting, applications, homestudy, medicals and so on which can take an average of six months before even reaching the Waitlist stage.

Heidi and Mark requested siblings. There is no reference point for the wait time for siblings, as there is for example the very commonly requested infant 0-12 months - which is now at an estimated 7.5 months. It's not that anything went wrong. The wait is just completely unpredictable for siblings because of everything involved.

Everyone in the Gladney and Ethiopian adoption world knows them. Families they friended from the beginning stages continued to move forward, receive referrals, pass court, travel and bring their children home. Meanwhile, Heidi & Mark waited. and waited. and waited some more.

The flipside for all of us coming through the channels as poor Heidi sat there? We all reaped the benefits of Heidi's wait, as she welcomed each of us with a huge heart and open arms. She's offered all of us so much comfort, advice and warm words of support as we've all faced our own hurdles and have come to know her family's story.

It's now our time to give back some of that support and you can already see the love pouring in. They currently have 69 comments to their blog post announcing their referral. (an average blogger receives 0-10'ish comments)

Heidi is a force and I don't say this lightly. It takes a very special person to remain as focused, as positive and as supportive as she did during her wait.

The best part? Heidi was my first blog friend.
What more could a girl ask for? You couldn't have a more suited mentor for such a rollercoaster journey as international adoption.

The outcome of The Call? They are soon to be the proud parents of TWIN boys - 28 months old!!!!! I can't wait and am so excited to meet them!

read the details here

It's a GREAT referral story and what happens when you get The Call when least expecting it.

On behalf of all your Gladney Girls, we heart YOU Heidi!

Flight Planning Tip

I've scored so many great tips from the blog world that I thought it was about time I offered something in return.

If you're a frequent traveler, you may already be aware of this little tool. I NEVER book a flight without checking with them first. It's http://www.itasoftware.com/ and is a reference for flight costs across the board. It is not a booking tool. The concept is similar to the programs used by travel agents.

1. Choose "Search Fares"

2. Sign in as a guest

3. Plug in your info - as detailed or open as you choose

Voila...you'll see the costs, various airlines, flight numbers, stopovers, dates, times, etc for your cities. You then take that information and book through your preferred outlet or the airline directly. This way, you have the flight numbers and connections that create the lowest priced fare available.

The screenshot below is a search I did using the "month long" search to find the cheapest dates to fly in April. Flying on a Monday in April (vs. a Tuesday) saves close to $1k a pop per person. Crazy.

p.s. Not that anyone is taking JetBlue to Addis, but in case you want to use ITA for domestic travel - JetBlue is not in their system. I think they may be eventually.

Nursery Ideas

The adoption packet does not come with a timeline of when to start thinking about a nursery. I think we all just follow the other's lead on this one. Cross your fingers that you have a proactive mom-to-be in your newfound sisterhood of the adoptive bloggers! It's not uncommon to receive your referral and have nothing prepared.

It's also something you don't want to rush; seeming over anxious or the horrible feeling of jinxing something. Ours is more of a practical decision at this point. Referrals are flying around like crazy right now. We have family coming in for Christmas. We live in a condo where maximizing the use of space is crucial. So, our plan is to begin the nursery this weekend with a 12/26 eta for completion. "Completion" really means = enough floor space cleared away to throw down an air mattress. (our twin nephews are coming in and want to assist with the final touches)

I'm staying away from a themed nursery and am leaning in the direction of color & pattern. Mixing colors that will stimulate his mind, yet hopefully not keep him awake! Bold patterns to grab his attention will be used in the fabrics. I have an idea of the outcome in my head, but that's never the end result. The little surprises along the way usually work in your favor, changing the final style to one even better than imagined. Here's to hoping that's the case!!!

Our starting point is the black & white bedding and then throwing in some bold patterned fabrics I've picked up along the way. I also saw this great fixture for the ceiling that includes different sized balls in contrasting color and texture. This is perfect for a ceiling focal point for him while in the crib or playing on the floor. I'm definitely looking into recreating this in some way.

In case anyone else needs some inspiration, there are some great bits here...
DesignDazzle and ApartmentTherapy

So many things can be recreated to fit within your own style. Sometimes the hardest bit is the starting point.

Happy Belated Thanksgiving...

It's been awhile since my last post. So long in fact, that many important dates have passed that would have otherwise been addressed...Thanksgiving, World Aids Day, court dates, referrals and recent updates to name a few.

I'll keep it simple by wishing everyone a belated Thanksgiving and give a little recap of our holiday. I say holiday because we took the opportunity to spend Thanksgiving away as our pre-adoption vacation. You all know the one...the one that has more significance than any trip you've ever taken because the next time you board a plane with your passport, it will be to pick up your child(ren).

At the beginning of our paperwork phase, someone (I forget who, but I thank them from the bottom of my heart) suggested planning a trip that would fall in the middle of the "wait list" period. It would serve as a very attractive alternative point of focus from the ritual of stalking blogs and watching the unofficial wait list creep along. They said a getaway would also do wonders for your thought process for the transition and ups & downs that come with international adoption.

hmmm....okay. Who am I to turn down a trip suggestion, considering the benefits we'll reap afterwards? Done. In February, I booked an apartment in Barcelona for Thanksgiving. We only needed to use 3.5 vacation days, yet 10 days of vacation time were ours! Woohoo!

And the best part? Kai's family are big travelers and joined us the second we mentioned it. There may not have been turkey on our table, but there was plenty of family, fun and paella to go around!

Now, as someone who has made it a ritual to blog-stalk and continually press refresh on the unofficial FBI list a bazillion times daily, this trip was therapeutic on many levels. No computers, no blogging and the obvious distractions to real-life when being on vacation made for a wonderful, refreshing break.

It doesn't matter where you go, but a break is a good thing at this stage in the game.

p.s. My friend, Heidi, had the most wonderful post on World Aids Day. I couldn't say it better. Please check it out here.

The Wait, The Girls, The Gifts and The Gab

Four topics. Can you tell today is a scattered day?

I've read it's part of The Wait. My mind is all over the place. If there was a word holding a stronger meaning than stalker, it would apply to me. The only constant in my scatteredness is the FBI list. I'm now checking multiple times a day to see who is getting court dates, who is passing court and who is getting referrals. That of course segways straight to checking every blog to get updates on all the families. Oh boy.

My heart goes out to the families who have not passed, but I'm hopeful since new dates have been scheduled already. Sometimes when I read these families' posts, I realize how strong they are. It's all of us yet to reach their stage who sound so heartbroken in our comments to them. I think as you reach each stage in this process, you're becoming more and more prepared for your stage, knowing it will all come together. Your eyes are open to the fact there are bumps and nobody is immune to them.

I've mentioned the strong bond of the Gladney Girls (and I don't mean to disregard the men in this equation). It just happens that the majority of those writing are the women. We're all going through such a unique experience together. These are now bonds that will always exist (and all you men will meet each other on the inevitable playdates!).

Another thing during The Wait is you're never really sure what you should be doing. Reading? Decorating? Redecorating? Moving things? Buying things?

Today, I'll address buying things. My mother & sister sent us so much clothing, shoes, bibs, sheets and things along those lines that we decided we're fine. The crib will be in our possession in February. That does it then - we're absolutely fine! We'll just ask for books.

Bad move. You know why? We don't have ANYTHING!!! People kept telling us to register and apparently there is a reason. I've received sample lists from friends trying to gently guide us. Well, I can tell you that after looking at all these things, we are headed for a registry asap. Who knew all this stuff existed? And I'm not talking "stuff" for the sake of having "stuff". (I despise excess) Books are very important and we're not neglecting that thought, but there have been some major developments in the children's department that we will happily be partaking in.

In the meantime, I wait by reading about Ethiopia, Africa and adoption.

Month 3 on the Wait List

Yes, more numbers. Unfortunately, I think all posts from now until travel time will include some form of a count down.

And today's number children, is the number three. We were officially placed on the Wait List three months ago today, on 7/10/09. I say officially because it was documented on paper with our agency on that day.

All this recent bumping up to the next place in line is UNofficial because it has nothing to do with our agency's wait list records. The unofficial numbers are all calculcated by us, the blogging adoption world. And this great database is maintained by an amazing woman who maintains the FBI (Forensic Blogging Initiative); all for the sole purpose of our need to know what everyone else is doing, what position we're currently holding and how we're each handling our current status. It is a wonderful thing!

Tam recently referred to us as The Gladney Girls, which I personally think should stick. Gladney is our agency and we're all following every move the other one makes. Of course there are families without blogs because they want to remain a bit more private. How dare they! (just kidding)

So for the rest of the Gladney Girls letting it all hang out and spilling every neuroses to the world wide web, I tip my hat to you and thank you for making the first three months of our wait that much more bearable.

Accessorizing #9

What else is a girl to do?

We currently have a high class problem on our hands and I'm not about to complain, just express my shock-ed-ness. It wasn't long ago that we moved from 15 to 12 on the unofficial list, at which point my brother jokingly said, "..better get that nursery ready because there is a baby on the way!" That's when I repeated the whole schpeel about a 9 month wait, rainy season, unpredictability, unknown hurdles, etc. and I'm not taking anything too seriously until we hit the single digits.

Well, after posting our #10 move on Monday and then quickly updating it with our bump to #9 yesterday...drumroll....we're in single digits folks. No more messing around. Operation Nursery is beginning this weekend.

Things are moving too smoothly, too quickly and we MUST keep up. We will combat this with what we know best...accessorizing. We're pulling out the bedding and the stuffed animals. The painting I did will be hung. Curtains will be sewn. And then we will look for more accessories...the much needed urban stroller (key for city dwellers w/out a car), the rain shield for the stroller, the perfect diapers for the flight home, the rug for his room and we may even hang the wooden blinds still in the office corner that were purchased so he can sleep a bit sounder. And the list will go on as long as we wish. This is the attitude we've decided to take.

We've heard some very unpleasant Waiting stories and are not dismissing them by any means. For some reason, to this point our wait is simply that...a wait. It's not dragging and it's not close to unbearable (yet). We're also only three months in (this Saturday). So at this very surreal moment, we are happy to no longer be #10 while pleasantly satisfied to bask in the moment of #9, not yet rushing to #8 while we take a moment to accessorize.

The only sense I can make of this stage is that, you can have fun with it. You don't have the stress of being next in line and taking your eye off the phone for fright of missing The Call, yet your dependence on the notary & fingerprinting is behind you because your paperwork is now complete. My advice to any new families is enjoy this time. Take advantage of being able to prepare for the biggest thing EVER that is about to happen within a matter of months. And don't lose your sense of humor.

My mother in law gave me the best advice when we were at the beginning stages of IVF. After giving her full support (as always), she said we must always remember to maintain our sense of humor. It's a stong part of our relationship and she knows that. Her advice is the same advice I would give to anyone in the Waiting Stage (or any stage).

Unofficially #9

Tesiatu, ዘጠኝ Neuve, Neuf, Neun, תשע, Nove, девять, níu, 九つ

Another Family Hoopla...The Sis' Wedding

A whole lot can happen in a few days.

I boarded a plane last Thursday (Kai came Friday) for my sister's wedding reception in GA, very content to be sitting in the #12 position on the unofficial Wait List. I must note that a few days prior to that we were at #15, so all in all there was much excitement yet a teeny bit of "oh my, this is picking up rather quickly".

Fast forward two days. I take a break early Saturday morning from my reception to-do list to check the computer. (aren't we all Wait-List-checking-addicts at this point?) I scream, "MOOOMMMMMM!!!" I ask her to please double check my counting skills. (she's a retired teacher) It's official. There have been two more referrals posted on the unofficial list and we are now #10. An utter state of confusion takes over. Is this how it works? Will we now wait two-three months with no movement on the list? How else will this take eight/nine months? Are four referrals a week normal????

I quickly move into to-do list mode - and it's not for the reception on hand that is taking place in a matter of hours. My head is spinning with a brand new to-do list; one that only a natural born control freak can understand. Back to reality...my sister is celebrating her wedding reception this weekend, following a bride/groom only ceremony that took place in Jamaica last month. I MUST focus. This pace must simply be a rare little surge.

So enough about my hysteria...on to my sister's. Ha! It was a huge success. She was a beautiful bride and we're so happy to welcome Brian to the family!

Unfortunately, our dad couldn't make it but the majority of the family attended which was wonderful! Such a GREAT time. Our family is amazing and did I mention a bit on the large side? My mother (3 bio kids) remarried Glen (4 bio kids), producing quite an ecclectic blended crew that will make for an amazing new family for our newest little addition.

And those characters are...

(They requested Aunt Tam do their hair)

and then of course, there is US

and then me and The Nana (note the blow-up jumping machine in the background that was brought in for the kiddies)

We are now #10

We are now #12!!!

I gasped yesterday and went into full blog stalking mode as I read Tam's post. It referenced all the referrals & movement on the unofficial Wait List. I had no idea! Normally, I follow the Yahoo Ethiopia/Gladney group to find out about families receiving their referrals. I don't check the FBI (the unofficial list) regularly. That is certainly changing.

Last week I noticed a very long lull on the Yahoo group and wondered if something was up with my computer. How can nobody be posting? It turns out I missed a whole lot...Rebecca & Colin got "The Call" for a 7 week old girl, Robyn received a referral for a 2.5 month old little boy, Shawn accepted their referral of a 2 month old little girl and another family got "The Call" for their 10 month old little girl (they don't have a blog).

I posted their links so everyone else can check out "The Call" posts. They are my absolute favorite of this whole process. "The Call" post is the one that describes the moment the waiting family receives their referral call from their caseworker. No matter who you are, it seems to turn your world upside down with utter bliss. So much so, that it seems most families forget every detail once the caseworker says "I have a referral for you. Are you near a computer?".

We're sending a huge congratulations to all of you who just received your referrals and wishing you a quick court process to get over there and bring your babies home.

Now we just need Heidi & Mark to get their call for their siblings. Siblings can take a little longer, but they've been sitting at the #1 spot for quite some time and we're all rooting for this week to be the one. I can't imagine what we'll be like at that spot, based on how anxious I already am for another family. Between Facebook, her blog and the Yahoo group - we're all checking in daily for their news. Isn't the internet a wonderful thing?