Update: File Has Been Found!!!

There have been a few heroes along our journey and today I'm adding a new one to our list and will simply refer to her as Ms. M.

Ms. M is one of the many employees in one of the many feds' offices we've contacted since hearing the news last Wednesday that we may not travel to pick up our son. Turns out, Ms M is a grandmother of not one, but two, adopted grandchildren. She's in the know. She gets it. And...she's a government official in the very department we need an advocate right now. We bow down to her.

About an hour ago, we received an update from the NH office that our file has been located, is being entered into the U.S. system and will be processed to Addis within the next 24-48 hours.

Ms M,
We thank you and our family thanks you. We are forever grateful.

I am now going to bed and plan to sleep for eight *gasp* hours. Yes, I really am.

Happy Birthday Baby!

Niko turns nine months old today. Instead of cupcakes and sweets, which will be the obvious treat for all future birthdays once his little toes touch down on U.S. soil, I spent most of yesterday with some good 'ole fashioned nuts & bolts for the immune system. We now have enough pureed mango/banana, sweet potatoes and carrots for twenty five meals.

I had hoped this would be the weekend we spent in a giddy-fog as we packed Niko's homecoming bag, our bags, some more donation items for the orphanage and ran the final errands before flying out next Sunday. As more bits came in from various sources this weekend, our odds of flying have significantly dropped. In turn, our personal efforts have spiked in equal value.

I am headed to our congressman's office this morning on my way to work. Should our file not be scanned by end of day today, I'll be heading to New Hampshire either tonight or tomorrow morning to sit in their office and await some personal attention. It was confirmed late Friday that this is where our updated file (remember the lovely Officer? This is where she sent it) is most likely sitting in the mailroom awaiting scan & upload into the National Visa Processing system. Yes, it may be a shot in the dark but we're running out of shots here and I'll take what we can get. The senator's office will also be getting involved today, as they are already in the loop and willingly offered assistance.

I must also say that we've faced zero resistance from anyone who ends up hearing our situation. Everyone is accomodating and onboard to offer whatever help they can. If the person at the front desk of this office follows suit, we may see a positive outcome after all.

To recap, once our file is scanned in the U.S. system it will be cabled (emailed) to the embassy in Addis, Ethiopia for our scheduled embassy appointment (8/5) . We're told this can take from one day to weeks to appear. We don't have weeks.

It's a risk, but at this point it's likely one of us will be flying if our scan makes it into the U.S. system but doesn't reach Ethiopia. The reason...there are still four days it COULD arrive (8/1-8/5) and if we don't get on the plane and our embassy appointment is ready to go, can you imagine the horror if the parents didn't show up???

Thanks again for everyone's support. It really does make a difference and we appreciate it. I know some of you have emailed and asked about our trip, but to be honest I don't have the time nor the energy right now to tell that story with proper attention to do it justice. I will tell it, but not until this is resolved.

Stay tuned as The Drama of The Prints continues...

On a sidenote, the blog design we've been using has changed on the backend and will be updating shortly. In the meantime, you may see some funky things in the layout.

Are You KIDDING Me???

It’s 4:30am and I’m up again, except today isn’t because of jet lag. That’s long gone.

Today I’m up because at 3:30am the double knots in the stomach came back in full force after replaying yesterday’s events in my head. I thought at this point I would be posting pictures from our trip and telling warm & fuzzy stories about how we have the most adorable, perfect son in the world. Not so.

I received a call from our caseworker mid-day yesterday. She wanted to recap all the bits of our trip and asked if I would be interested in being a guest on next week’s conference call with a Q&A style covering any pertinent details for fellow families. Absolutely!
The conversation then turned to one that involved the words...great concern you will not travel as expected.

Our CIS fingerprints have gone missing. They expired on 7/15, so the extension we filed and reprinting we did on 6/29 did not make it into the newly updated USCIS centralized computer system. Once our prints go through the state division, they are then processed through the National Visa Processing Center where they are reviewed and once given the okay, cabled through to the embassy in Ethiopia. (Our embassy date is 8/5)

Six business days remain for the above to occur and nobody has records of our prints to even start this ball rolling. The alternative? To reprint, we’re looking at an estimated two months. Embassy dates in Ethiopia are only every other Thursday. We would have to fit into the next available one, which is anyone’s guess.

This is what caused an eight minute mental breakdown in my boss’ office yesterday, which enabled me to decompress and come back in full force with proper frame of mind to be productive. (she gave the okay to work on this for as long as necessary, ending with “bring that boy home”) I gathered all necessary documents and began emailing and calling anyone who would listen that works in immigration in the U.S. Three hours in, a “live” woman answered her phone. She referred to herself as an Officer. I liked that title for what we needed right now and knew this was our woman.

I think the most productive 30 minutes of my life were spent with my Officer. She willingly engaged all resources on her end after listening to our situation and began recreating our paperwork! Much more to it, but this is the gist…if this works, our file should show in the National Visa Processing Center by Monday of next week, allowing three business days for processing before being transferred to Ethiopia. (I am purely speculating that they need three days, only because that’s what WE need to meet deadline. I’m hoping that’s reasonable.)

If this new scenario works, we will travel next Sunday, 8/1 as planned. If our file is not in Ethiopia by next Friday, we will not travel. We’ll then await word on reprinting or await the appearance of our file and then wait for a new embassy date.

I must also mention (and this is the advice part, should this happen to others) that during those three hours of scouring for officials to listen to me, I had left messages with the NJ senators’ offices. After speaking to my Officer (the one who helped) I did receive a call back from the senator’s office. They listened to our situation and advised to call back Monday if we still need assistance. My advice is to get them on the horn immediately if you see your prints lapsing in the new system, just in case you need them down the line.

I’ll end with this…a new mother recently asked me if she could ask a personal question which was, At what point in the adoption process do you have the attachment feeling of a mother/child bond? (I welcome all questions like this because it makes ME think too.)
My answer was, it’s a gradual process that grows stronger through each phase of the process. I’ve now changed it to…
Meet your son, play with him, hold him, squeeze him, have a federal judge deem you a family by law, get on a plane, leave him behind and then be told you can’t get him because a piece of paper is missing.

You’re far beyond a mother/family. It’s like this little guy has been with us forever now and someone has temporarily taken him away, not that he hasn’t arrived yet.

And on what planet do fingerprints expire?

What Lies Ahead

look at these cheeks!

We're still in a whirlwind since receiving our court date. What a surprise this is! Of course I expected to be excited but never to this extent. I thought our court date call would resemble that of our caseworker holding a little flag and waving us through to the next stage. Oh, it's SO much more! Because of the new two trip law, we are going to MEET HIM in a matter of weeks. WOW!!!

Remember those monthly updates we receive that I mentioned being a little bittersweet recently? Well, we received one yesterday and I think that's what made it all fit so perfectly. Seeing his little tufts of hair coming in and what his new habits are...they're all a part of our very near future - in person. I can't wait!

So, the dirt that everyone wants to know...what lies ahead for two-trip families.

I have no idea if the itinerary we were given is agency-specific or applies to all those operating in Ethiopia. This is simply what we'll be doing over the next few weeks.

We were issued two court dates: 6/30 and 7/14.

• 6/30: MOWA's date to review our file and hopefully issue a favorable opinion. The lapse in time between 6/30 and 7/14 allows some padding for MOWA to gather any additional paperwork or details, should they require it. This (hopefully) ensures all is in order by the time we travel and appear in court on 7/14.

• 7/14: Our day to appear in court (IF the above occurs in a timely manner).


• 7/12-7/19: approx dates in-country for trip #1


• mid-late August: approx timeframe for trip #2 for U.S. Embassy appt and bring home Baby N

We're advised to hold off on purchasing airline tickets until MOWA gives us the final okay on 6/30. Should they need additional time to review our file, say their opinion doesn't come until 7/5, we would most likely still have our 7/14 court date. However, should they close unexpectedly or simply need more time on our file, we would forfeit our 7/14 court date and await a reissue.

Once our adoption is approved and finalized in the Ethiopian courts, we're anticipating a return to pick up our little boy 3-6 weeks later. During this time his court decree, passport, birth certificate and other required travel & immigration docs will be processed. It is required to have all this in order upon our return for our U.S. Embassy appointment in Ethiopia. That trip will also be approximately seven days in-country, solely focused on bonding with our son.

Beause I am convinced to have been a travel agent in a past life, I will most likely be moving forward with purchasing our tickets once I find the perfect deal. Many times a change fee is more cost effective than a new purchase only days before departure. We'll see.

p.s. Did I mention that 6/30 is my grandfather's birthday? Hoping for good stuff.

Court Date!

We're a two-trip family with a court date (7/14)! *Happy Dance*

I'm bursting with excitement and have no idea how I'll sleep tonight. There is movement folks!

Yes, movement for all the other families who now fall under the new law and will travel twice. It's happening and I can't wait to see more court date announcements!

I will post more tomorrow. In the meantime, we'll be falling asleep with big grins and thanking each of you for the amazing support while we waited (and waited) for this next step.
xo

Slow Dance

My ladies-from-the-80s are sure to have at least one flashback moment of awkwardly going around and around in mindnumbing circles while your mind fast-forwards to thoughts of friends, your weekend plans, the next shopping trip or maybe just wondering - Will this dreadful dance ever end?

So, I've created a face for this wait for a court date and it's that of a big, boring slow dance. As I do the small talk and the fake smiles during this dance, with various update versions of 'no news is good news', my mind decides it needs a little more action and has moved forward with a self-created proactive approach. This slow dance is a little too monotonous for my liking and overall, quite the bore.

My proactive approach begins with heeding one's own advice. As I wonder what advice I would give to someone else in this pending stage, it would without a doubt be get busy. Get busy with all things that normally end up on the back burner. Take a deep look and try to envision the little crumbs of spare time in your very near future and...

1. clean the closets, fix the chip on the bookcase, sort & donate unused items that are taking up valuable space, paint that wall the color you love (not necessarily the one that blends), get the A/C tuned, filters changed, put those lingering photos in books with proper labels and on & on. You see where I'm going with this.

2. cooking/recipes
I've started hording recipes that appear to give me more time to play with Baby N when I get home from work and less time focusing on dinner. Kai has been the lucky (*sarcasm*) recipient of my finds. And yes, some have been followed by a quick pizza delivery. But I must say, this is the time to be trying out the new stuff.

3. gym/exercise
a) for the obvious health benefits and...
b) I'm totally serious here...so I can carry this guy around!!!! I was told once that I have 'Rolling Stone arms'. I'm not sure what that means, but it does paint a fairly accurate picture. I'm not a huge fan of the gym but I have ventured into a pretty good place right now and am building up the arms and back strength. The first thing traveling families reference when they report back is Baby N's shockingly large frame. I have taken this report seriously and will be ready :)

4. babybook/lifebook
BN's babybook arrived a couple of weeks ago and with each agency update, we've begun filling in the blanks. Loving this task! I've yet to begin a life book, but am having fun in the planning stage and researching others' ideas online.

5. packing lists for two trips
This is the fun part because it's a task directly related to bringing BN home! and yes, it includes Excel spreadsheets. :)

6. letter
I'm writing a private letter to BN that I'll share with him when he's much older.

7. daycare
We've researched daycare centers in our area, which I think I mentioned awhile ago. This is a great thing to do if you live in an area with various options. It's something that needs to be done if you plan on working and it also relates directly to your child, making you feel a strong sense of accomplishment and a little closer to him/her/them.

8. read
There isn't enough time to read everything out there that I feel I should. I see various books suggested through different sites and also from what others are reading and I want to read them all! Will I be a little more prepared with each book I read? Who knows??? I do know it's a very productive way to pass the time.

I can't think of any moment in my life that created a complete an undetermined halt of action. As we await a phone call that brings things back into motion, I think...What an opportunity this is to clean life's house! If I was ever the organized fool before, watch out now. No nook or cranny is off limits while I go round and round in this slow dance.

Feel free to add your own tips. I would love to add more to my list and I'm sure others would too.

The Voice In My Head Looks Like This...

Artwork: Louisa Giffard

Speculative Living

It's the analytical, hypothetical and very-much-assumed stage. Simply put, I've fallen into the abyss of theory.

Because now that I know what Baby N looks like at seven months old, that man who just bumped into me at the Union Square market is most definitely what Baby N will look like when he's in his early 30s. Yes, I see the similarity in the cheeks and the smile.

And the woman on the train who allowed her little boy to stand up in his seat while she was so fully engrossed in her novel? That will NOT be happening on my watch! and the mouth on his little sister!!! Are you kidding me? Baby N will utter nothing by lovely little oos and ahhs....forever. ha!

As I walked to the train this morning, I followed a father walking his son to school. They were engaged in a deep conversation as the little boy made little catch-up steps and wiggled just right to keep his backpack from falling off one shoulder. Awwww....this is where it's all going down. The father & son time will be what he looks forward to at the beginning of each day.

Then come the 'nexts'. This weekend, Kai and I celebrated an awesome seventh anniversary (16 years including dating!) that included a bike rental and a romantical, fun-filled afternoon ride along the promenade on the Hudson river. Much of the ride was spent chatting about next year at this time and the little tot-seat that will be plopped on the back of one of our bikes. We decided whomever has the smoothest ride will be the one in charge of this tot-seat, considering it will be carrying some pretty valuable cargo!

Another 'next' was, of course, when Mother's Day rolled around and how we'll be spending it next year. We're now discussing this Father's Day and next. As big soccer fans, we're welcoming the new Red Bull's stadium and are psyched to have scored tickets to some upcoming Euro teams coming to town. I don't think I was done checking out when we were already speculating on the appropriate age for Baby N to attend his first game. Is next Father's Day too soon? No, I'm sure it will be fine if we bring the right amount of snacks and sun protection - and so went the conversation. It was as if he was already home and in need of a bag for a field trip at school the next day; certainly not a soccer game that may or may not be happening in the summer of 2011.

It seems once the referral comes in and you have an image of little feet, a face and the smile that you know was smiled just for YOU, that you've just been warranted the right to speculate. Who knows what the timeframe will be at this point, but odds are with every holiday and major family event in 2010, that Baby N will be in the mix of it all when it rolls around in 2011.

I say speculate away and the bigger the imagination, the more fun!

Ma & Pa Gittens

Who doesn't love Little House on the Prairie?

pi·o·neer:

one who is first or among the earliest in any field of inquiry, enterprise, or progress –noun

to take part in the beginnings of - verb

When your head is so deeply buried in something, it's hard to see anything objectively from the outside looking in. So, when a handful of various friends, family and supporters have referred to us as 'pioneers' I would simply look at them with a quizzical look. Well, now I get it.

As one of the first families proceeding under the newly enacted Ethiopian International Adoption laws (effective 5/9/10) we now see that our recent lull was directly related to being one of these so-called pioneer families. So, while I was pulling my hair out as others flew by us on the wait list (including a family who received their referral on the same day as us, who are now in-country picking up their child) our files were being brought up to speed to meet these new requirements.

Since receiving an update yesterday and gaining some insight into our case, I feel our heads are no longer buried and we can look at our situation as others do. You see, our paperwork WAS submitted to court. However, it was denied because the court requested further documentation specific to our case that wasn't a requirement under the previous law. It has now been produced and our file will be submitted to court over the week to request a court date. Now why couldn't I have simply recognized that we ARE among the pioneers and will most likely face a delay here or there due to the new policies in place? Well, because what I'm realizing is that when it's your baby at the other end of this - there will be no reasoning or rationale!

So, now that we're in the loop and know what is expected for the next step, we're exhaling a little bit. It's very possible we'll experience further blips, as the courts are becoming more rigorous under the new laws, but we'll deal with that later if we need to. Right now our focus is receiving a court date and crossing our fingers that it's before rainy season.

And in the true spirit of saving the best for last...

Happy Birthday Baby N!!!!

Sending loads of hugs & kisses on your 7 month birthday and a big squeeze to those humungo cheeks!

Who Suggested This?

and what were the details???

Okay, so I'm lame by sending out a broadcast message, but I've Googled and searched my fingers to the bone trying to find this on my own to only turn up with naaaaahDAH after two days.

I'm compiling our travel to-do lists for Trip Part 1 (for court) and another for Trip Part Deux (the magical one that brings home Baby N). You should all know you're responsible for this massive three ring binder currently sitting on our dining room table! We've printed & filed all those fabulous tips you've suggested along the way. Said binder...will eventually be condensed to a simple journal to accomodate carry-on luggage requirements.

The missing link...approximately three to six months ago there was a self-described overly organized mother-in-waiting who planned her family's in-country spending by preloading a corrugated expandable file; each section labeled M-F with each day's funds in its allocated slot. Who was this? and where can I print your amazing travel tips?

Hopefully there is another control-freak out there just like me who printed, filed and/or bookmarked this tip. And whomever you may be...I thank you in advance!

A Candle and a Care Package

A candle was lit last night in honor of Heidi and Mark who we've all showered over the past few days with tips, poems and a potpourri of congratulations as they departed today for Ethiopia. Over the next two weeks they will soak in the country of their twins as they compile their story through images, conversations, tears and much joy. We're all awaiting the image of all four of them together...finally!

Along this journey they will make a pitstop at Baby N's crib to drop a care package, possibly grab a video snippet and steal a quick minute for some much needed little hugs on our behalf. The current care package includes a few items that were chosen based solely on their comfort level. They seem like very soft & cuddly lounge wear which will come in handy for all children after Baby N who will wear them. Once these items go into the care centers, they stay there so we wanted to ensure we sent items that will benefit all. The teething ring is self-explanatory, as each picture of Baby N shows major signs of teething. Hopefully this is good on the gums.

Lastly, the giraffe. This guy is a gift from Nana and has been in our bedroom for months, soaking in our smell. It's now stuffed into a ZipLock baggie and on a plane to Addis where BN will play with it and begin to smell our scent. Nana was especially smart on this purchase by showing up with two giraffes; one for the current trip and one to remain here for BN to have upon his arrival in his new room.



And the bear suit is just, well - adorable.



Another traveling mother offered some hugging for our little guy with a picture. When sending it to us, she described it as 'salve for a waiting mama's heart'...indeed. I couldn't describe it better.

When Kai & I receive these emails from traveling families, my heart races as I see them appear in my inbox. They feel like that missing little bulb in a string of holiday lights that make all the rest light up; like we were a dwindling, twinkle-weakling headed for the end of holiday rubbage. Suddenly, we have more life than ever before and are sparkling our little hearts out.

Hopefully on some level, Baby N understands that two crazy people are here waiting for his arrival and he will know someday that random shots of his chubby little cheeks were the fuel for these crazy people as they waited for him.

Inhale...Exhale; Repeat

Yes, she's addressing the elephant in the room folks.

So far, so good - nothing to see here yet.

I'm sure I'll have the required time and energy one needs for a good 'ole fashion meltdown, should we be in this situation a week or two from now.

For those not privy to the FBI list and scratching your heads in wonder, let me fill you in...
There is an unofficial list (the FBI) that approximately 1/2 the families with our agency have volunteered to sign on with that enables us to track each other's progress through the various stages of bringing our children home. It's an amazing tool that gives a small-town feel to this vast nationwide community. You cheer the others on as they finalize their paperwork, receive their referral phone calls and so on. I can't imagine going through this process without this list and the amazing group of women who accompany it. To try and describe the friendships I've made through this little 'ole excel spreadsheet would never do justice, as they are beyond friendships. These women are now sisters and part of our family. What in the world did adopting families do before the internet? (that's for another post, another time)

So yes, that elephant...

Scrolling from the top of this list (chronologically) through to the families who received their referrals a month after us, there is only one empty blank. We are that blank. All other families have had their paperwork submitted and have received court dates. As of Friday, our paperwork still hasn't been submitted. *stomach flipping*

Many have asked how we're doing, while I'm sure others are secretly thinking 'Well, THAT can't be good'. Believe me, if I was on the outside looking in, I would be thinking the same thing! Our caseworker has been awesome and keeping communication open with Belay, who assures us all is fine and within the expected timeframe. This reassures me for a minute, until I view the list again and that lonely little blank morphs into a seizure inducing neon blinking Golden Nugget casino sign flashing "Uh-oh Uh-oh". Yes, a solution would be to stop viewing the list - but I can't. So much is happening so fast with other families right now. These are families we've traveled this journey with from the beginning. I'm not about to miss this part! This is the time to celebrate.

So to recap, we're not nervous yet. We're currently still in a place to beat the clock for the inevitable rainy season. (we need to pass court before the courts close for rainy season in August or we don't travel until they reopen in early October). That's what all the fuss/rush is about here.

I would say an accurate description is pending-nervousness. The call that either gives an update, a paperwork confirmation or a court date will obviously wane this pending state. No news at all...will likely raise our level to "I think it's time to be nervous."

Ahhh, the wait continues. I thought waiting for our referral was going to be the hard part, but heard from families that this part is a bit rougher. Waiting for court has been a much different kind of wait. It has brought a sense of calm because we can now see our little guy each day on our refrigerator. He's no longer the 'unknown'. The hard part though? We can now see our little guy each day on our refrigerator!

Inhale...Exhale; Repeat

You're Invited to a Shower Today...

...and tomorrow and the day after.

Please celebrate with us in sending Heidi off to Addis in style by sharing your advice, tips and lighting a candle. Heidi has been a one-woman support system for so many of us, while enduring her own journey to her wonderful boys. That journey takes it's final turn on Tuesday as Heidi and Mark fly off to Ethiopia.

Please stop by, drop a comment and join the party!
http://celebratingheidi.blogspot.com/

Also celebrating this weekend is this lovely lady who received her referral and has seen the image of her BEAUTIFUL little boy!

Lots of love to my girls!!!

Okay, I'm writing this while traveling and am sure to lose my connection at any moment so off I go.

Double The Fun

Baby N's paperwork has not been completed by his orphanage, therefore was not available to be submitted to court in time for the ticking clock of the new law. We're one of the first families to fall under the new law going into effect on Monday and will be traveling twice.

It's like a cloudy film was peeled away yesterday when our caseworker called, allowing us to finally see the next few (and final) steps on our journey to BN. Those steps include:

Over the next few days/weeks:
* BN's orphanage is responsible for compiling his docs from various local agencies (comparable to the paperwork Kai & I gathered to create our dossier last year)
* orphanage hands over paperwork to Gladney
* Gladney submits BN's paperwork & our dossier to court, requesting a court date

Two-Four weeks later:
* court date is issued

Three-Six weeks later:
* court date happens (we appear in court & stay in country for one week)
* once we pass, BN's passport & travel docs are being prepped for his flight home

Two-Three weeks later:
* we travel to bring BN home :)

This timeline is a very rough estimate with a few key factors to note. Nothing is put into motion until the orphanage presents the paperwork. And… Court dates are expected to be a bit backlogged due to yesterday’s rush of agencies scrambling to get their cases submitted by deadline.

So, the dirt…many have asked how we’re doing. Well, we’re turning this into an adventure and will soon see where it takes us on our way to & from Addis. Through the numerous budget airlines offered outside the US, it’s a great resource for saving some dollars while seeing a new corner of the world. It’s not for everyone, but we’ve done it on various trips, LOVE it and will be doing it again.

The number one issue, following the financial aspect, that caused anxiety among many families upon hearing the new requirements was “How will we ever be able to get on the plane and leave our child(ren) behind?”

I've got no positive spin for that one, folks. It’s not going to be easy. The other eye-popper for me was hearing that while in-country on our first trip, we’ll see BN at court and then at some point, spend about an hour with him at his care center. I was planning to hunker down at his care center for most of our week in Addis. oof. Bring on the ‘ugly cries’!

I think our new camera will become our best friend and perfect distraction on trip #1. By having a week in Addis, we’ll become explorers; taking every opportunity to capture the reality and future memories for BN . From his home area, the locals, the landscape and everything in between - we’ll be working on his story through pictures of his home country for his baby book.

We are very much looking forward to the remainder of our journey and very fortunate to be standing in these shoes.

Today is the Deadline

Today is the final day for paperwork to be submitted to the courts in Ethiopia if families are to fall under the previous law and travel only once. Considering the time difference, all decisions have most likely been made and caseworkers will be reaching out to us today.

As of Monday, 5/10, families adopting from Ethiopia will be required to be present for their court date; requiring travel once for court and then returning a few weeks later upon their passing of court to pick up their child(ren).

Speaking as one of the families teetering on the edge with a 50/50 shot of falling onto either side of this new structure, I honestly don't care on what side we land. I just want to KNOW. After all the recent updates of Baby N, the pictures, the status reports, etc....I just want to go get him.

I spoke to our caseworker earlier this week and she confirmed that she’ll call on Friday with our news. Yes – something concrete. (the control freak/planner in me is kicking into overdrive – ha!) It’s peculiar how your needs and security fluxuate during this process. Knowing we’ll hear a firm decision from her today makes today a little bit calmer than yesterday.

The best part of this? Ethiopia is being proactive to protect their children.

In other news...(and what this is all about)

This lady will be celebrating Mother's Day on Sunday as the amazing mother of her twin boys. Congratulations to Heidi & Mark on passing court yesterday!

tick tick tick...

nephew Theo on the kaiPhone

tick tick tick
A world away a baby boy unknowingly waits
A world away his parents can not sleep
Ups and downs, a roller coaster, the unexpected. The journey of the P.A.P.
You've grown in our hearts and we're no longer waiting to love you

Some days fly by with constant thoughts of who you must be
Others drag as we don’t have a clue
We don’t know you. You don’t know us. We’ve yet to meet.
At what point did we become family?

Did you know you’re in charge now? Yes, it’s true
Everyday is consumed with thoughts of you, talks of you and simply you
People you’ve never met ask about you. People we’ve never met ask about you
We’ve made new friends because of you and through you, they're now family

When life changes this big, one prepares to wait
And while we wait…
There are hurdles, hoops and walls to master
And when I think I’m going to burst…I now do

I can because this wait is temporary
When it ends, we’ll be holding you
And you can then digest us, as we have you for so long
This wait will soon end and we will all be stronger and ready

A world away you're peacefully and temporarily adjusted
A world away a new room and home full of love await you
And many, many open arms ready to give you everything
Now would be a good time for this wait to end

if you like it, we'll say it's mine
if you don't because there's no rhyme or reason, we'll call it 'author unknown'

Vocal & Bouncy

LOVING these updates from Baby N's caretakers in Ethiopia! (and thanks to Lori for the amazing photo) I know I said I wouldn't be posting anymore images of him, but how could I not share this?

I got a big case of the LOLs and the warm & fuzzies when I read yesterday's update that stated Baby N is 'vocal & bouncy' and has a 'wide gummy smile'. And apparently he's very social. He's six months old - ha!

The warm & fuzzies quickly turned to a butterfly'ish stomach flip when I read next that his caretaker is working with him on standing up. Nooooooooooo. That's what we're suppose to be doing. As we await a court date, my plan to remain as ambivalent as possible is slowly going out the window with each update that comes our way. I want him home NOW. In the meantime, I will take a deep breath and regain my sanity, knowing there is no better place for Baby N to be right now while he also awaits our court date. His level of care could not be better.

We're only days (four) away from finding out if we travel once or twice. If we don't have a court date by Friday, we'll be traveling twice. Other families awaiting big news...Heidi's court date is tomorrow!!!! and Emily's referral should be ANY minute now.

Come on court passings, referrals and court dates!!!!

Baby N, Meet Mommy & Daddy

Our little guy is about to have his first glimpse into the sights and sounds of his mom and dad (scent too, but that's for another post)
caution: unintentional product endorsements follow

The great thing about this community (yes, here I go again - sorry) is how close-knit and supportive complete strangers are with each other in this world of international adoption. Through blogs and online forums, families reach out asking "Who is traveling soon? We just got our referral and would like to send a small package to our child." (and then the traveling family packs your care package and personally delivers it upon landing in Ethiopia)

Okay, they ask a lot of things - this being the most common 'favor' and the one we're about to ask at the end of this week once our care package is ready. The most touching public forum conversation I read was a woman posting that she just received word her child was admitted to the hospital in Ethiopia. She needed/wanted to send some medicine with a traveling family asap. Many families offered, but weren't traveling for another week or two. Then a family wrote that they were leaving in two days; no time for the mother to mail them the medicine. The solution? The traveling mother asked "What medicine is it and what care center is your child in? I can pick it up locally tonight and throw it in our bags. We'll drop it as soon as we land in Addis."

That was something I read many months ago and it impressed me like nothing has impressed me before. I decided right then that I love these people and I want to do the same for another family when we travel.

Yes, back to the Sights & Sounds. Have I mentioned how easily distracted I am lately?

The Sights...
I am loving the Sassy brand. Everything is plastered with bold bright colors & patterns to keep the attention of an infant/toddler. This little number below is a photo album that holds seven 4.25" x 6" photos and a mini shot on the front. Each page is tabbed in a contrasting bold color that encourages the child to interact and use their fine motor skills by flipping the pages. We snagged this at Buy Buy Baby for under $6 and stuffed it full of couple shots and then individual shots of us. It's safe for babies 3+ months. We put a little shot of Baby N on the cover so his caregiver knows it's his book.

The Sounds...
Yes, bedtime stories from afar. Kai will read a book using one side of the tape and I, the other. I read somewhere that this is a great method for your child to slowly become introduced to your voice, making for a smoother recognition/bonding the day he meets (and hears) us as we enter his care center in Addis. Who knows if this helps, but it certainly can't hurt and if anything, it's an entertaining way for him to fall asleep each night. We're hoping his caregiver plays along and will play this for him as he goes to bed each night. I've heard such amazing things about the caregivers and am certain anything that assists the children is something they're game for.

We had to search for this little device. The more common models have all gone digital and start at $100+ at retail. Crazy price for something we'll use once for recording. Staples has the microcassette old school models for $30 (including one cassette & the batteries).

Numero Uno

Giddy is an understatement.

The Gittens' home has turned to absolute mush, with neither of us able to complete an intelligent sentence or thought. Considering our current state of la-la'ness, we are doomed once 'the call' comes. I'm hoping no major decisions need to be made from now until Niko comes home, because we have such tunnel vision right now it's pathetic. If it doesn't relate directly to him, it's not on our radar and doesn't really matter. I think 'mama bear' and 'papa bear' instincts are kicking in...uh oh.

I was on my laptop last night when I got home and a message popped up from Emily that read, "Coco & Kota got their referral! You're number 1!!!" The natural reaction to that is, "AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH" which brings Kai running into the living room asking "Are we #1?" How did he know that? We haven't discussed moving up the list at all. When you consider the recent lull in referrals and court dates, combined with last week's changes, we anticipated a much longer wait. It's true that nothing is predictable in international adoption.

We're sending a big congratulations to Coco & Kota on their referral!!! Check out the link above to read their referral story. Reading families' posts about how they received "the call" are my favorite. I still wonder how you can digest all the details your caseworker is telling you over the phone while simultaneously receiving images of your child for the first time.

So what else happens when you reach the #1 spot? You fall asleep a bit too excited and wake up the same, at 5am on a Saturday. (we'll see how excited I am later this evening at our dinner when I'm trying to prop open my eyelids) Anyway, I jumped online to start checking flight options and had an epiphony. When it dawned on me that we're traveling alone on the first trip, I realized our options have grown significantly.

We can take advantage of the many, many budget airlines that operate outside of the U.S. and work our itinerary around those routes, making our way to Addis. It's not for everyone but if you're willing to sacrifice a little convenience and comfort, it's a great way to see a new city/country and potentially save hundreds of dollars. (ex: in the past I got a flight from London to Krakow for $27USD and another time Madrid to Morocco for $32USD) We certainly won't be doing this on our final trip when we bring our son home, but at a quick glance I've already seen significant savings that make it worth it for our first trip for court.

I'll post more on that later for anyone who may be interested.

Okay, I'm off to start my day in LaLa land....yay!

Shame & Joy

yesterday marked eight months waiting...yay! yay! yay!

From the words of another blogger, F You CWA.
...and all you other lowlife agencies "allegedly" preying on families and children in the form of corrupt adoption. Your greedy actions have the potential for serious repercussions for thousands of innocent children.

Corruption is in every industry and comes in many forms. And if you're good at it, you'll always treat a few right who will sing your praises. It's quite unfortunate, to say the least, when you hear corruption allegations being made that involve children, and in a third world country to boot. Turn any corner and there is true need. To take advantage of this is simply shameful. (previous reference)

For family & friends not in the know, it is strongly suggested that because of the ongoing allegations mentioned above, new policies were required. Two were implemented this week.

Early in the week, the US State Department announced that visa processing for children adopted from Ethiopia will take on new requirements, which may cause a slight delay in the process. (Okay, not psyched about the delay but this was inevitable and we applaud the thorough steps being taken.)

The second notice came yesterday. Effective immediately, federal courts in Ethiopia require families to travel twice; once for court date to meet your child prior to adoption, allowing the judge to make any necessary inquiries and the second trip to pick up your child once you have passed court and their visa has been processed.

I don't care how many hoops we have to jump through to bring our baby home. We welcome a more transparent environment; one that leaves little wiggle room for corruption. My silly question is, Where are the hoops for these corrupt agencies? Isn't it safer for all, if their plug is pulled before they have the chance to pull ours?

The latest CBS interview is below.



This isn't all doom & gloom. The JOY...we are going to meet our son SO much sooner than we planned! Yes, there will be floods of tears boarding that plane home as he stays behind, but we will not focus on that part yet. We've scoured the web for families' blogs who reference traveling twice during their adoption. You see, each country has their own set of laws and each agency, their own rules. And all must abide by Ethiopia's set of laws. Suffice it to say, there is a plethora of variations to this calculation.

So, we found amazing stories from families in other countries, with other agencies and from those who simply opted on their own to travel twice. All were wonderful stories that have me so looking forward to spending time in our son's country, exploring on our own and most importantly meeting our son in the very near future. The one thing all families noted was the structural difference in the two trips with the pre-court trip being the more flexible, exploratory with much opportunity to engage in the local community. The latter is more structured with much time being in the guesthouse as you bond with (and spoil and dote on) your child/ren.

My stomach swirls with excitement as I realize, we don't need to send a care package with another family immediately because WE WILL BE DELIVERING IT OURSELVES! Awesome! We'll probably still try to send something though :)

In closing, it's very important to note the values, humanitarian efforts and core that drive the ethical agencies currently in-country. Their advancements have improved the lives of so many in need and continue to do so. It brings such calm and peace of mind knowing we are with one of the most reputable agencies. We applaud them for being everything they said they were from day one and for this week in particular - reaching out at all the right times.