Friday, September 4, 2009

a little rant...

I'm allowed to rant, right?

When I follow blogs, I must say...the ones with "real life" personality are the ones that get me because I can connect to them. When you research adoption, whether your purpose is to find the right agency, country, medical research, general experiences, etc. - you're going to reach a point where you bang your head against the wall thinking, "How are all these people living every day of their lives in such harmony?" They are thankful for everything that came their way, happy to be in the dumps because tomorrow is another day and overall they're just happy to be alive.

My take? That's not life. Life isn't like that. This is only my opinion, but I rationalize that style of blogging through your international adoption because you feel eyes. You feel the eyes of your agency and you feel the eyes of the country you're adopting from. These eyes hold your future, not to mention a big part of your life savings. And yes, they both check in on occasion.

Maybe I'm wrong (and it's very possible) but I feel that if you choose to blog about your experience, you are opening yourself up to the entire world by putting it online and by doing so, it should a) give an accurate account of your experience for those interested enough to read your blog b) offer a clear and concise journey for your future child to reference and c) be honest to yourself and your family's values. Nobody expects us to be perfect. I hope anyway!

So, that's not even my rant. This is...

For the second time in the past year, I have seen a pregnant woman (teenager is a more accurate term) smoking. It took every fiber in my being not to walk over and strangle her. (fyi...that's what you're not suppose to write in case your agency or country is following your blog) As I exited the subway on my way home, a young woman about 7-8 months pregnant was leaning on the building smoking and texting someone. My stomach did a little flip and by instinct, I changed direction and started walking quickly in her direction to do something. And then I thought, what do I have to offer? Why is my interference going to change such a broken scenario?

I began to mind my own business and turn away, when suddenly I began thinking...I LOVE smoking but I quit!!! I quit b/c I wanted to have a baby. We even moved b/c we wanted to have a baby! Two years of IVF, four years of not smoking, deciding on adoption, fingerprinting out the wazoo and now waiting and waiting...and this carefree, pregnant girl who is about to give birth is by choice putting an otherwise healthy infant at risk and clearly bringing them into a world where they are already not number one in her mind. It sickens me.

And to see this twice, not cool at all.


  1. That would definitely be hard to see. I have been ranting myself lately about a few people I know who have been complaining loudly about how horrible breast feeding is, drinking alcohol while breast feeding, and planning to quit breast feeding as soon as possible. I understand that breast feeding can be difficult and that it's not for everyone, but i am sad about not being able to breast feed my children and it all seem so very unfair sometimes that things like pregnancy and breast feeding come easily to those who do not care or appreciate what they have been given. Ahhh, a good rant feels good sometimes, but I must admit I am more comfortable doing it on your blog where my grandmother and mother-in-law won't read it! LOL